It’s not just about the food. Oh, I know, it SEEMS like it’s all about the food. After all, at most parties, the action really does – literally – revolve around the food. Huge platters of beautiful concoctions, many of which are off-limits to those of us who are enjoying a gluten-free lifestyle, are front-and-center while people mill – and eat. Remember to keep it in perspective. The party is about the people, the occasion, the celebration, and the festivities.
People aren’t noticing. Sometimes we think that if we’re not eating, or if we’re carefully analyzing food to see if we CAN eat it, that everyone’s taking note and making judgments. The truth is they are probably not, and they probably don’t care! They’re busy finding their own food, mingling with guests, and enjoying the party. You should be, too!
Fill up before you go. It’s always important to eat something before you leave the house, but when you’re attending a special event where you will, undoubtedly, be surrounded by tempting gluten-laden gourmet delicacies, it’s especially important not to be hungry. If you can’t be absolutely sure there will be food you can eat, have a snack before you get there, and enjoy the party without an empty stomach…
Ask what’s being served. Don’t be shy; your host obviously wants you to attend, and would most likely be happy to accommodate you. People aren’t usually offended when you ask what they plan to serve, especially if they realize you’re asking not because you’re picky, but because you need to avoid gluten. For some reason, people always worry that this offends a host, but it doesn’t. Would you be offended if someone with dietary restrictions asked you what was being served? If you still hesitate to ask what they’re serving, turn it into an offer to bring something. Which brings me to the next rule...
Offer to bring food. Whether you offer to bring the dessert or an entire meal for yourself, always offer to bring something. Not only is it good etiquette, but it will usually prompt the host to tell you what’s on the menu, so you have an idea of what to expect. Best of all, by bringing something, you know there will be at least one thing at the party that you can eat.
Don’t forget about contamination. Just because you checked with the host and determined that the dip is gluten-free doesn’t mean the dip is “still” gluten-free. Are there crackers or other gluten-containing foods being dunked into the dip? Are people using one knife to slather the gluten-free spread onto pita bread or rolls? That knife is a carrier of contamination, and the otherwise-gluten-free goodie is no longer truly gluten-free.
If you’re the host, consider an entirely gluten-free menu. You don’t need to tell anyone the food they’re eating is gluten-free, nor will they be likely to notice. Lots of incredible hors d’oeuvres and main dishes are inherently gluten-free, or can easily be made so with simple ingredient substitutions.
Potlucks aren’t lucky. Potlucks can be tough, because you never know what’s in the food people are bringing. The good part of a potluck is you know you’ll be able to eat at least ONE dish – the one you bring. Be sure to fill up before you go, and bring something you love, just in case that’s all you will be able to eat. You can politely ask people what’s in their dish, veiling your question in the form of a compliment: “Oh, this looks delicious! What’s in it?” If you get a thorough answer, you can decide if it’s okay or not.
Don’t get mad if the host forgets…even if that host is a close family member or loved one! I know – it may be annoying if someone you love forgets your dietary needs, but remember that planning a party can be stressful and time-consuming. The host has a lot on his or her mind, and accommodating a special diet may just fall through the cracks.
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